Off... again

Going to Eastern Bohemia this weekend!!! Can't wait to tell you all about it on Monday!! XOXO!! -Tiff

~* L.O.V.E. *~

So yesterday marked six years for Mark and I!! I could not ask for a more perfect guy to spend the rest of my life with! Mark is my best friend and I love him and miss him very much! Now let's see how each of us celebrated our six year anniversary, since we are apart.....
Me: RETAIL THERAPY! I spent a LOT of money yesterday on some SUPER HOT new clothes! I also am planning on returning to the mall today!
Mark: Worked eleven hours yesterday.... Talked to him just now.... HE'S FLYING TO VEGAS FOR HIS BACHELOR PARTY FOR THE WEEKEND AS WE SPEAK!!!! What a stinker! ;) BE GOOD MARK! Love you!!! Happy six year and one day anniversary!

More ballet Reactions......

Let me just start by saying that there is nothing more masculine than two men in full body tights having a sword fight. ;) I also have to mention that I did understand the Romeo and Juliet Ballet a lot better than the Opera! ;) With that said, the dancers were all very talented! The guys had some nice butts, too!

POOR GRANDMA

I GOT THIS EMAIL FROM MY GRANDMA AND IT IS JUST TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE... ;)

"OK, Tif you really got me this time. I had read your blog thru March 31, then hadn't looked for a few days. Last night, I went to a church meeting where Pastor Steve happened to be. The first thing he said when I walked in was, "I hear you are going to be a grandma again". Of course, I didn't know what in the world he was talking about and I know my face showed shock. He said, "Haven't you read Tiffanys blog the last few days?" and of course, I had to admit I hadn't. Well he had a lot of fun finally telling me that it was an April Fools joke, which by that time, I had figured out. Again tonight, at bible study, he had to tell everyone that "at least we now know that Tiffany is not pregnant".

I really don't know what I'm going to do with you, but am anxious to see you and get you under control again. You know, I love you, don't you?"

NOT TIFF TIMES TEN!!!!

So I am getting ready to go to bed, but I had to post this really fast just to prove that I am not a liar!!! ;) We went to the Ballet tonight! I HAD to tape the clapping part just to see if what happened at the Opera happened at the Ballet... I'm sorry to report that you cannot watch the FOUR MINUTE AND FORTY-FIVE SECOND VIDEO to get your answer.... wow...... I will show it to anyone who wants to see it when I get home! ;) haha*

OKAY, THIS TAKES LIKE FOUR SECONDS SO DO IT!!!!

I JUST RECEIVED THIS EMAIL... PLEASE HELP!!! DUSTIN IS So0o0o0o0o0O0O0O GREAT AT THE DRUMS!!!! I WOULD LOVE TO HELP OUT MY 'LITTLE BROTHER' IN ANY WAY I CAN!!! LOVE YOU ALL! -TIFF


http://www.addictedtonoise.com/media/85FCFFFF00ED2CCD0003001A1F92
Dustin has recently been asked to be the drummer for a band who is in acontest with MTV. They are asking EVERYONE we know to go to this websiteand please vote for them. You can vote several times (10 I think perday).....it will tell you when you've maxed out your votes for the day.Anyway, you can vote daily and the band would really appreciate it. Pleasesend this on to anyone you know. The bands website is http://www.bluenewsproject.net/index2.html. Hopefully his days of playing at the VFW's are over. He plays in Chicagothis weekend....he's pretty excited about that. Their schedule has themplaying in Missouri, Illinois, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Indiana. They writetheir own music and they are in the process of making their third album.I've listened to their songs on their website and some of them sound similarto Eric Clapton....not too shabby. Anyway, Dustin wanted me to spread theword and I thought "what better way then to go overseas to Tiff and have hertransatlantic friends vote as well"?

MmMmMmMmMm...not

So we were lucky enough to have a wine tasting at the wine cellar.. ((this is why our guide was asking about abstinence, it turned out....))

When 'tasting' wine, you must follow these steps:

1) Look at the wine, REALLY examine it, move it around in the glass to make sure it is wine.

2) Smell the wine, really get a good wif, decide what kind of wine you think it is, notice the fragrance, let it fill your nostrils with its [pungent] wine smell

3) Taste the wine, let it touch all of your tongue, chomp the wine, make a weird face while you are chomping, really taste the nasty wine flavor, determine its stage of maturation, swallow, try not to vomit.

We tasted four wines. Below are my observations, with some additions from our tour guide...

Wine One: Made in Kromeriz, young, white, tasted like wine.

Wine Two: Sweeter, still white, smelled like wine.

Wine Three: Tour guide said it smelled like flowers and was high quality. I thought it was white and smelled and tasted like wine.

Wine Four: Red Wine, very dry. Almost puked. Way too harsh for my taste.

As it ended up, I would taste a sip of the wine and give the rest to Ulrik and Rachel. haha*

We had a tour guide who only spoke Czech, so that was interesting.. ;) The young wine from South Moravia was stored in the wine cellar. The Kromeriz vineyards were destroyed during the Thirty Years War. The guide said it would take 25 years to truly be good at telling whether wine was good or not. I guess I will never be an expert! ;)

Wine Cellar.....

So we went to a place where they store wine in Kromeriz.

See that 'gunk' on the wall in the picture? Yeah, the wine cellar had about an inch of pure mold on the walls.. The guide called it 'prime conditions' for the wine. I called it disgusting.. Agree to disagree, huh? ;)

Poor Ulrik

Ulrik is one the nicest guys I have ever met. He is also the one who asked Rachel W. "Will you put out" in Prague (see previous Prague Post). Well I have another Ulrik story... So, when we were at the Chateau in Kromeriz, I pointed to a framed black canvas on the wall and told Rachel it was a painting of Kromeriz at night-- very famous. She giggled and turned to Ulrik to show him the amazing painting.. Poor thing walked over to the blank black canvas and examined it.. Walked back to us and said he thought it was nice... I didn't have the heart to explain the situation.. :)

Abstinence......

Talk about awkward! When we were walking in Kromeriz, our guide turned around and asked our group, "Are you abstinent?" I was eating a sandwich and LITERALLY spit it out! haha* Here is how the rest of the conversation went:

GUIDE: You are laughing, so that means that you aren't! [looking at me]

ME: I feel like we just met! You cannot ask me that! It is a little personal, don't you think?

GUIDE: I am asking about alcohol?

ME: I am talking about sex!

GUIDE: WHAT?!!?!?

ME: Do you mean, 'do you drink alcohol?'

GUIDE: Yes

ME: I bet that isn't a common question in the Czech Republic! I feel like everyone drinks! Even the kids!

GUIDE: Wait, in America, 'abstinent' means you don't have sex?

ME: Yes! That is why I almost spit my food on you!

GUIDE: Why would anyone abstain from sex?

ME: Oh sheesh.... [continuing to eat my sandwich]

I speak Angry Czech....

So I'm pretty sure that I speak Angry Czech... Two examples:
1) One night before we were going out, Rachel W, Darren, and I were dancing around and singing a stupid song like Total Eclipse of the Heart. I take that back.. It's a classic... Anyhoo, I failed to mention that we were in the lobby of our dorm, twirling around and singing our hearts out. Suddenly, the lady at the front desk (one I ALWAYS say Dobry Den to, mind you) SLAMMED down her hand on her desk and yelled at us in Czech. We stopped singing... I translated her obscenities to our group and we left.
2) On the train to Kromeriz yesterday, I was super tired and had my feet propped up on the bench. The woman who czechs train tickets came up to our group, pointed to me, and loudly had a discussion. I immediately sat the correct way. Our guide turned to me, smiled, and asked if I understood what she said. Of course I did! I speak angry Czech!
At this point, my confidence in my angry Czech translation is pretty high. We were walking around Kromeriz and our guide pointed out a church to our group. So did this "Angry Czech" guy walking along the street. I couldn't help but attempt a translation in my head about what the man was yelling, pointing to the church as he spoke. When we were heading to our next site, I asked our guide what the man was yelling about. This is where my confidence takes a downward spiral. Apparently, he was telling about the church and how important it was... Dangit! I guess I still have 39 days to work on my angry Czech! :)

Chateau......

So we toured this crazy, huge Chateau that had fake caves, beautifully decorated rooms, a library, a gallerie, and a tower to see all the city. Let's start with the fake caves.... There was apparently a nice theme of fake things among the people of Kromeriz... There were a few rooms that had this crazy cave theme. [Think Rainforest Cafe of the 17th century]. It was pretty serious and detailed..

Speaking of detailed, there was another room that was completely COVERED by mosaics! Little tiles decorated everything from the floor to the ceiling! It was BEAUTIFUL!

Then, of course, there were the crazy rooms for the rich people of the Chateau (which I'm pretty sure held Bishops??) There was the guys' room that had a pool table and beautifully decorated walls full of ANIMAL FACES... eeewww! It was so gross! I wasn't allowed to take a picture, but I wasn't even sure I wanted to! It was filled with little baby animal heads. They didn't even look real. I'm pretty sure the rich guy who lived there payed some artists to make some iron casts of baby animals and place their heads on his wall surrounded by some crazy weapons in order to make him feel more masculine... ((You are aware the next room was filled with pictures of this cat wearing a DRESS!?!?!?!?)).... Our guide said there werwe 225 heads in all... I was not impressed... just a little sick...

There was also a library in the Chateau! It is the second largest collection in the world! It had over 88,000 scientific boks alone! It was really fun to be in that old ancient library and wonder if that old rich man ever even looked at them.. I'm guessing it was more for bragging rights than anything... It instantly made Rachel and I start singing "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast."

At one point we went to a ballroom that was a little over the top. All the chandiliers were imported crystal from Italy and there was gold everywhere. Exactly what you would think of when you imagined a ballroom.... This sent more "Beauty and the Beast" songs through our heads, but we refrained.. Our Czech tourguide sang us a beautiful song while we looked at the walls.... ((See video))....We were all amazed at how old everything in the Chateau was! Actual pieces just laying around! At one point, Rachel looked around and said ((I promise she said this...)) "Oh, look! The mirror still works!!" Yep...

Then we went to the tower. The view of the city was amazing. We also got the chance to see a "historical carousel" while we were on the tower! WOW! :) haha* Our guide was pretty funny... [We'll get to that more later...]

Afterwards, we visited the gallerie. It was a large, great collection that contained pieces such as [I'm not making these names up] "Still Life With a Cat, Dead Birds, and Vegetables" which, of course, was from the same period as "Still Life With a Cat and Dead Birds." Really?!?!? You are ARTISTS who have an amazing GIFT and the BEST name you can come up with for your MASTERPIECE is "STILL LIFE WITH......"?!?!?!? I guess I'm just not much of an art person.. I don't get it.. I cannot interpret it, but I do think it is beautiful and I appreciate the artists who worked so hard on it. There was a famous work in the gallerie: "Apollo and Marsyas." I knoew it was famous because there was a nice, thick, velvet rope around it, indicating its importance... :) Overall, the Chateau was a great place to visit! The working mirrors were amazing! ;)

Pay to Pee

I think I have a reason for the kids who pee in the street! You can't find a free public restroom ANYWHERE in EUROPE! It is a little bizarre. Now, don't get me wrong... There are WC's... (Restrooms). But you have to PAY TO PEE! And, what's worse, you have to declare what you plan to do in the restroom to the attendant and pay accordingly.. Yep.... Number two is more expensive... Then, depending on your choice, the attendant gives you a few pieces of toilet paper. Yeah... I thought it was bizarre too.. It really does make you decide if you have to go or if you can just hold it. There is quite a strategy to it and I would almost call it a sport. Apparently, this was common practice in the United States as well some time ago... ((again, I'm an ACCOUNTANT, not a history major)) but it was determined an illegal practice to chaarge for a bodily function. Ew.... This does explain a lot though... It explains the kids who are making Brno their urinal... It also explains that drunk guy about a month ago in the main train station who missed my foot with his urine by inches.... INCHES.... I just suck it up and pay to pee... You know what they say, "When you got to go, cough up the dough!" :)

Ew Ew Ew Ew Agh AGGH!

Okay, the title is the closest to typing my interpretation of a monkey sound... haha* Anyways, there was a little zoo in Kromeriz, right by the bathrooms...[I'll get to that story next...] He was so goofy looking! I loved him! He was just looking around at everyone like, "What's up? I'm a monkey. I say Ew Ew Ew Ew Agh AGGH! What's up?" At least that's what I think he was saying...

We don't have any ruins....Let's make some!!

So Kromeriz is world-famous for its beautiful, intricate gardens. And for good reason! We were there pretty early in the season so there wasn't much in full bloom, but it was still amazing! I wonder if we have anything like this around Indiana... The gardens were set up in the 17th century and were very well executed. There are all kinds of exotic trees and plants and flowers, with beautiful lakes and statues! In the 19th century, as our guide informed us, "they got a little crazy." :) I was intrigued... Apparently people wanted there to be uins in the parks... Like ancient ruins like the Parthenon in Greece or something?!!? haha* So, sure enough, there are some ruins of 'house' and things in this park... With steel bars in them for support!! haha* It is so funny because you can see the steel poking out and the 'ruins' are fenced off like they are all ancient... haha* The only thing they didn't have was a guard and an entrance fee... :) Oh yeah? You know how they got the 'stone' for the ruins? Smashing statues and using the broken pieces! AGGGHHH! Needless to say, it is a tourist attraction and it got me. I guess it worked... I am telling about it and took some pics... I am such a sucker for fake ruins....