I want to be a standup comedian

If you have ever read my blog and choked on your soda pop because something made you laugh out loud. Or even make you go as far as to slap your knee. Or maybe you got mad at me after you read a post and projectile vomited on your computer. If you have done one (or three) of these things, you will understand why I want to be a standup comedian.

I’ve thought a lot about it, but I really am oh so scared. I could DEFINITELY use my blog for material. But I’m just scared of having to dodge tomatoes. That would suck.

Standup comedy is on my bucketlist. One of these days I will do it…. I’m just not going to promise I don’t have a bowel movement on stage….

Thoughts?

eBay

Has anyone ever sold anything on eBay? I have no idea how to do it and I have plenty of things that I can sell! There is a place called, “Sold it on eBay” near our house. We are thinking about taking all our junk there and having them sell it. Then I don’t have to look like a monkey when I charge $1.00 for shipping that ends up being $14.83. THAT would be my luck. Has eBay worked for anyone?

Quiet people freak me out

Just sayin

Seriously how do they have fun?
What do they DO?

Book clubs?
Tea parties?
Library meetings?
Bird watching?

I don't think I'm alone on this one... although I might be the first one to say it....

You are Blessed.....

If you woke up this morning
with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won't survive the week.

If you have never experienced
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.

If you can attend a church meeting
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank,
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still married and alive,
you are very rare, especially in this World
today.

If you hold up your head with a smile
on your face and are truly thankful,
you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them
or even touch them on the shoulder,
you are blessed because you can
offer God's healing touch.

If you can read this message,
you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world
that cannot read anything at all.

You are so blessed in ways
you may never even know.

14,000 texts a month

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090617/ap_on_re_us/us_texting_championship


I encourage you to read the attached article...

It is about a girl named Katie. She is from Des Moines, Iowa. She got her first cell phone eight months ago and sends 14,000 texts a month.

Katie (and some other nerd alerts) participated in a texting event. Now bare with me. This does sound interesting. Events included an obstacle course and even one called Blindfolded Texting. Katie was the winner in the competition. That is DEFINITELY a trophey to show the kiddies! :)

My next point stems from the following article:

http://tech.yahoo.com/blog/hughes/24080

This one focuses on the dummies in London. Read on: In London they had to put padding on poles on street because people were running into them! haha* The British are so darn....creative... ;) There is even a picture at the link... It's a must see.

Our world is awesome! This posts gives two reasons why....

Have a wonderful day!

Pain Scale- Dermatology edition

I was at the dermatologist the other day to discuss a growth that was on my hand since the Czech Republic. I was pretty sure it was an unborn baby that was growing on my left hand. I told the nurse this. She found no humor in it.

She did ask:
“How do you feel about that?”
“Huh?” I asked.
“On a scale from 1-10... You know, with 1 being not worried at all and 10 being very worried.”

Ummmmm… What the schnozzle? Isn’t that YOUR JOB?!?!?!?
Do you think I would be at the DOCTOR today if I didn’t think it was serious??!?! WHAT THE HECK!!??!?

The nurse kept pressing for me to give her a number.
“Ummm… I guess, ten??”
She wrote it down. “The doctor will be in to see you soon!”

“Will that affect my treatment?” I asked as shed walked out the door.

Anyone have any clue why this bizarre question was asked? Is there a correct answer?

The Hangover: Mark's favorite Part....

It has been confirmed....

Mark's favorite part of The Hangover was: NAKED ASIAN!!! He followed up by letting me know he loved all the parts with the Asian. He also enjoyed the guys all waking up.

Ahhhh.... classic movie... :D A must see.

The Hangover

Wow Wow Wee Wow.

Mark and I went to the movies to watch The Hangover the other day. It was absolutely HILARIOUS!!! If you haven't seen this, WATCH IT!!!! It was definitely a knee slapper! There are many one liners. My favorite part was the naked Asian dude. Yeah, I said it. I would venture to say that was Mark's favorite part as well.......

Let me know what you think.

DADDY'S DAY

Ah... My Father......

He loved me first.... :D

He is such a fun guy

And we are both so passionate about living in the moment and traveling

We are both oh so goofy

and oh so gangster

and competitive....

I may be a nerd.... But he was the original! :)

Happy Father's Day, Daddy! I love you so much and appreciate all you do for me! Your love and support are amazing. You are such a great man who would do just about anything for his wife and kids. You deserve a whole day devoted to you! :)

Happy Daddy's Day everyone!

Shopping in the misses department

I haven’t bought new work clothes in years. Literally. It has been YEARS since I said, “I’m going shopping for work clothes.” Devoting a shopping trip to business casual attire is lame. But my scroungy stuff is getting….scroungy… so the hunt began the other day.

I found some uber cute outfits. No cleavage, but no looking like a dude.

I was at JC Penny when I had an enlightening moment. I don’t shop in the ‘juniors’ section anymore. I’m pretty disgusted by it, actually. Everything looks super cheap and super stoooooopid. I’m just not into the $2.50 sales on stuff I’ll never ever wear. Don’t get me wrong, this sister can’t pass up a bargain, but I sure CAN pass up cheap FUBU.

Then I realized where I was shopping. I looked around. 40-somethings everywhere. And me. SON OF A MERCEDES! I saw a chick with whom I had NOTHING in common walking down the aisle. “Don’t do it.” I thought. DON’T.DO….IT! NOOOOOO! She then proceeded to pick up the SAME blouse I had in my hand.

I moved to the Juniors section to see if Baby Phat or Fubu had ANYTHING for me. Nope. Nothing. So I went back to the department with the 40-somethings I had nothing in common with. Only to realize that we did have something in common after all. Work clothes. Freakin sweet.
Next I'm going to be buying Mom Jeans.....

Driving 33 Miles for the 33 Miles Concert....

A couple Wednesdays ago Mark and I were stoked to go to a 33 Miles concert in Indy. The concert was at a church and was only FIVE DOLLARS! 33 Miles is a Christian band that sings one of my favorite songs, "One Life to Love." The concert started at 7:00....

Below is a recap of Wednesday's events.....

Boo

Looking for the church

Of course Mark still found ways to make me laugh when I wanted to cry....

Google maps steered us in the wrong direction.... ((It actually was leading us to the place the church USED to be located....awesome.....))

We were super sad....

We found it.... an hour late....

So we went to Scotty's.... A local pub that everyone goes to for cheap booze on Wednesdays

We were happy about the way our night turned out.... even though it wasn't what we expected at all... lol