Did you have chores to do? What were they?

Did I have chores? BAH! What chores DIDN’T I have?!? I used to tell people that my parents bred children solely to do their dirty work.

…I actually still say that. They are going to have a rude awakening when both of the boys are out of the house…and THEY have to do the dishes or (GASP*) clean the MAIN bathroom!

Kayla and I had to perform separate chores when we got home from school each day. They way it was all nice and tidy for when David and Pammer got home from work.

There were four main rooms that always needed cleaning: Living room, dining room, kitchen, and bathroom. Kayla took the first three and I took the last one. I though ti was getting ahead because my room had the least square footage and I only had to make some room sparkle versus Kayla’s three. Kayla though she was sliding one past me because she never had to clean the toilet. Turns out Kayla had the right idea. I realize now that I had to scrub the toilet every day while Kayla ran the vacuum. Well done, sis.

I’m guessing the ‘rents are going to be inviting us over to the house more often when my brothers move out… to clean.

At least we have years of practice. Hey Kayla, I call Living Room!

What was your basement like?

My basement was non-existent when we were younger. I was fortunate enough to have to experience of “trailor-park life.” The neighbors would always joke when a bad storm was coming:

“Git outside in that there ditch cus it’s more safer in a tornader than bein in yer trailor!”

That kind of talk is always comforting to a six year old girl who is already terrified of bad weather.

Then we moved to a big, fancy house without wheels. Still no basement. When there was terrible weather, my sister and I would freak out. We would grab our boom box, flashlight, and a can of Chef Boyardee and another can of Beef Stew. We would head to the center of the house: The laundry room. To make the laundry room (tornado safehouse) better, my Mom used it as a storage area for her Mason jars full of green beans. Luckily, there were never any major tornadoes when we were younger. But the laundry room always made us feel much safer than the nearest ditch at the trailor park!

Quality TV

What were your favorite tv shows growing up?

My favorite shows growing up were high-quality productions. Let’s discuss:

FULL HOUSE: I loved all the girls in this! DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle! I loved Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. I also loved Stephanie, even though she was addicted to meth in real life. I could always relate to DJ and her issues as the older sister.

Then there were the guys of the house: Dad, Uncle Joey, and Uncle Jessie. I thought all were UBER HOT. Turns out they all had mullets. Back in the day, I loved that they all lived together. Turns out they were all bums who couldn’t live on their own. The story lines were cheesy but I loved it and still do!

SAVED BY THE BELL: Let’s discuss the characters of this cliché teenage trainwreck of a sitcom:

KELLY: The pretty girl who is bad at math. She has huge, teased bangs and a boyfriend with a phone the size of my purse.

JESSIE: The nerd alert who is always stressed about over-achieving. (THINK: “I’m so excited” scene) Jessie later did a shocking movie about stripper. What a hoe.

LISA: The token black girl whose sense of fashion is keen for the early 90’s. (Hello shoulder pads!) She is sassy and has an on again/off again with Slator.

SCREACH: The geekazoid who makes mistakes and says ‘zoinks’ a lot. He never finds a girlfriend and stays around for the sequel season. He later loses his house in real life and sells shirts to earn some dough.

SLATOR: The greasy jock with the even greasier mullet. He does the most manly sport ever: wrestling.

ZACK: The funny hot guy who has a love-hate relationship with the principal. Back to the reason he was so cool (and the reason I love this show): Zack’s cell phone was the size of Montana and he could STILL pull some tail!

**Quality TV**

Sloppy joes!!

What was your favorite meal growing up?

SLOPPY JOES! I’m not talking about homeless person Mamwich sloppy joes. I’m talking about Pammer’s special sloppy joes! This consists of ground beef, Velveta cheese (fancy), and cream of mushroom soup mixed together and slopped on a hamburger bun. The top of the hamburger bun has to have a hole torn out of it with a little bit of beef, cream of mushroom, and Velveta sticking out the top. Throw them in the oven until they are crispy. Then serve and devour. They weren’t for homeless people. They were a huge hit in our trailor park.

Neighbors

Did you play with the neighbors? Who were your friends and what did you do?

I didn’t have many neighbors growing up. My parents lived around a bunch of coyote infested cornfields. But there was Ashley and Amber Boyce. Amber was a year older than me. Ashley was a year younger than my sister.

The four girls would oftentimes form a club. The club was always secret and ALWAYS devoted to something stupid: beany babies, how to earn money, babysister’s club, etc… Depending on the weekend, Amber or I would be President/Vice President. Ashley and Kayla would ALWAYS be stuck with the filler roles or Secretary and Treasurer. We would make everyone but the President and Vice President pay dues. I just loved those clubs…