…by the way

Hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving!!!! 

 

<3 Tiff

New Years Eve

Yeah…..  Mark and I were on our way back to Indianapolis this evening….  and started talking about how crazy it would be to be in Times Square for New Years Eve.

So we bought  flights when we got home.  Yep.  You read right.  We are OUT.OF.CONTROL.  I was so excited I started shaking and calling my family/texting my friends. 

We haven’t bought hotels yet.  One thing at a time.  OMG

once.IN.a.LIFETIME.

….if you are available……  :-)

Marriage Phenomenon

Mark and I are awesome. That is obvious. We have always been two freaking cool individuals. And what could be better than two awesome individuals committing their amazing, party filled lives to one another? Wow! That would be awesome.

And, on August 2, 2008, just that event occurred.

This post is to address the event that occurred the following day.

Mark Baker and Tiffany Alexander were married. But we were still awesome. But people stopped calling. They didn’t think it was appropriate to call married couples to go to the club on a Saturday night. They didn’t shoot us a text when they were headed to the Pacers game on a Wednesday.

There is a stigma with married couples. It isn’t appropriate for a married couple to be sloppily (and drunkenly) making out in the corner of a bar. Married people are supposed to kiss in the comfort of their home. Married people are supposed to make babies on a Friday night, not play beer pong.

Most married people are not awesome.

But as of August 3, 2008, Mark and Tiffany Baker were married. And we were still awesome.

I had to literally sit people down to acknowledge this. I asked what I had to do in order to get back on the invite list. (The one I was still ‘on’ as of August 1.)

Luckily, my awesomeness (coupled with my husband’s appeal) got us back on the lists. Thank God for it! If we hadn’t gotten on the single people’s invite lists, WE may have been the couple talking about dogs and scrapbooking at that wedding. What a frightening and equally icky thought.

Awesome people prefer the Bar/Dace Floor loop to doggy talk.

Quote from my accounting professor tonight in class:

Bloomington, IN. IU. 1970’s. Bachelor’s Degree. They tell me I was there.

Black Friday

happy Black Friday....

Don't die shopping for cheap DVDs this morning....

Things I’m Thankful For

:: in no particular order ::

Health

Family

Friends

Culture

Math

Music

Wal-Mart

My Car Port in my apartment

Grandparents

Puppies

Kittens

Two – year – olds

Birth control

Democracy

Running

Cookies

Tuition reimbursement

Sunglasses

Nerds

Boys

Girlfriends

Sisters

Warm sweaters

Spandex shorts

Changing Fall leaves

Mountains

Pictures

Circumcision

High heeled shoes

Dresses

Down comforters

Wine

Good beer

Hard boiled eggs

Hand carved anything

Ebay

Gas stations

Diet coke

Mystic tanning

Sweatpants

Cell phones

GPS

Michael Jackson

Jesus

Mini golf

Avocados

Penn station

Religion

Christian music

Comedy

Internet

Facebook

Holidays

Paid time off

Sick leave

Blogging

Brothers

Digital picture frames

Palm trees

Sunsets

Sunrises

Sandy beaches

Fiber bars

Toothpaste

Daily talks with mom and sister

Wake up calls to my husband

Wedding preparations for my baby sister

Five dollar footlongs

Morning radio shows

DVD making software

Mechanical pencils

I-70

Dave Ramsey

Family in Florida

Plastic Surgery

Waxing

Tanning

Hair color

Microwaves

Contacts

Eyebrow threading

Someone else changing my car’s oil

Bottled water

Over the counter medicine

Euchre

Apples to Apples

Pre-made baked goods at the grocery store that I can claim as my own

Sales

Free underwear from Victoria’s Secret

Indianapolis Colts

Buffalo Wild Wings

Mascara

Community service

Artwork

BBBS

Free parking

Being able to go to California next week with work

Email

Digital cameras

Disney movies

Goodwill

Daily devotions

Text messaging

Deodorant

Earrings

Family gatherings

Airplanes

Evening news

Doctors

Prescription drugs

Nail polish

Fake eyelashes

Half.com

Sparkpeople.com

Winter jackets

Colorful / decorative tights

Chewing gum

Fast food

Walgreens picture printing

Online pizza ordering

PowerPoint

Excel

Clearance racks

Windows movie maker

Abbreviations

Direct flights

Business class

Warm weather

Online airline check in

Meat lovers pizza

Trader joes

Real estate agents

Asparagus

Milk

Quaker oatmeal squares cereal

Chips and salsa

Wedding rings

Automobiles

….that’s all I can think of for now. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!

Thanksgiving

Happy Turkey Day! Just remember, if it had been a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be getting a piece of ass today…..

Wedding Reception Seating

Mark and I go to a lot of weddings. Like, a lot. In October, Mark’s co-worker got hitched and (as usual) we got invited. I think it has a direct relationship with how awesome we are.

Anyhoo, the wedding was absolutely beautiful.

Then it was time for the reception. Seats were assigned. Mark and I were at a table with three other couples. One couple consisted of a girl Mark worked with and her husbandd. It made sense that we were seated with them. But what was the bride and groom’s justification for pairing us with the other four?

After quietly sipping our broccoli cheese soup, Mark and I decided to find out. Straight up detective mode.

After realizing all of us had been wed within the last year and a half, we signified our table as the Newleyweds. “Cool” Mark and I said to each other. “we are at the party table!”

….AAAAAND then they all started to talk.

The girls got all excited about scrapbooking. I was very quiet. I looked at Mark. He was looking at me, laughing. “Why don’t you contribute to the conversation, honey?” my SWEET husband said with the ickiest layer of sarcasm I’ve ever experienced.

Here’s the deal. I’m too awesome for scrapbooking. There. I said it. That’s what I tell myself anyway. I just get bored with it. My family is amazing at scrapbooking. I’m amazing at making scrapbooking-worthy moments occur. Hey, we all have our strengths.

Then it was the guys’ turn. They started talking about their dogs. Canines are a newlywed couple’s staple. I looked at Mark and encouraged him to talk with our tablemates about the pets we don’t have. He glared at me.

As if the last two topics of conversation weren’t bad enough…. The couple to our right started talking about their travels. YES! FINALLY! Something the Bakers could relate to!

We were wrong again.

They apparently travel to Epcot in Orlando, Florida every year. There is a room with a bar from many places throughout the world at Epcot. (Apparently) “You can walk to Mexico and get some tequila! And you can go to China and try some Sake! And you can enjoy a White Russian in Russia! And the beer in Germany is amazing!”

They loved it. They loved it so much, they went every year.

Instead of telling them how lame it was to travel to the same place each year for a bar, or how LAMER it was to go to Epcot for SAKE instead of trying it in China, Mark and I excused ourselves and went to the reception bar…then to the dance floor…then back to the bar…and to the dance floor. We continued that loop until our whole table had left for the evening. (Which was like an hour later)

…apparently they all had to go check on their pups…

OF COURSE we were one of the last ones to leave. Those other couples gave newlyweds a bad name. They suck. And we docked our gift to the bride and groom by $5.00 for even THINKING we would associate with those people.

Hey guy behind me, YOU SUCK

Hey guy behind me: Are you comfortable yet? If you kick my seat one more time, I’m going to push the recline button. This.is.your.warning…

Boo

What are the odds that I would sit by the 9 month old on the plane? Boo. She is being good right now, though… probably because she is pooping her pants.

I suck

So here I am, blogging on a plane. ::Standard::

I am reading Mark my cho cha rant. (yes, aloud).

I get random blog ideas from real life events, people! And here is a PRIME EXAMPLE of it:

You know how seats in Coach are big enough to make a moderately obese (aka normal) American to feel like a Fatty Boom Batty. The seats are tiny. And awkward to sit in…

Let me start off by saying something: Mark and I booked our AirTran tickets together for our random Florida vaca. How, oh how, did Mark end up in seat 14E and I sit in 15B? That’s right, AirTran, we booked our flight together, but please don’t sit us next to each other! We got that ‘situation’ quickly corrected.

I’m totally annoyed with the person who invented the reclining airplane coach chair. As if I’m not uncomfortable enough, the a-hole in front of me thinks she is ENTITLED to her reclining seat.

Here is where it gets awkward: [This literally just occurred.]

As soon as the chick in front of me reclined her seat, I looked at Mark (who was now next to me) and let out an excited “YESSSSS!” while I pointed to the seat that was now nearly touching my forehead. Mark let out a nervous giggle. Apparently the lady heard. …and Mark knew I didn’t care… I knew I had the green light for humor when Mark laughed. I told him I was going to blog about this incident. I was going to title the post, “You suck, lady in front of me!” I thought it was hilarious! Mark didn’t give the reaction I was looking for. I didn’t care. I was already imagining all the amazing things I could say about her.

As I started frantically writing, my husband leaned over… “Yeah… She heard everything you said. And now she is giving me the stink eye.

…Opps… Nice…. What an interesting turn of events…

Alice A-Hole in front of me lowers her seat to my chest. I make a comment. Alice hears. And now SHE’S offended. Typical.

I don’t care. Now I keep coughing in her hair and expressing my opinion on how, “I don’t care what the doctor says, this H1N1 isn’t going to stop me from having fun this weekend.” I hope Alice is excited about her ‘extra’ souvenir.

…by the way… I appropriately changed the title from “You suck, lady in front of me!” to “I suck.” Yep. Chalk up a loss to Tiff.

GREAT SONG

Nicole C. Mullins
My Redeemer Lives

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?
And who told the ocean you can only come this far?
And who showed the moon where to hide till evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?
Chorus:
Well I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
All of creation testifies
This life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives
Ye-e-eah
The very same God
That spins things in orbit
Runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken
They conquered death to bring me victory
Now I know, my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry
I-I-I know
My Redeemer
He lives
To take away my shame
And He lives
Forever I'll proclaim
That the payment for my sins
Was the precious life He gave
And now He's alive and
There's an empty
Grave!
And I know
My Redeemer lives
He lives
I know
My Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry
I-I-I know my Redeemer
I know
My Redeemer lives
*I know my Redeemer lives*
*I know, That I know, that I know, that I know, that I know
He lives
*my redeemer lives*
*Because He lives I can face tomorrow
He lives
*I know, I know*
He lives
*I spoke with Him this morning!*
He lives
*The tomb is empty*
He lives
*He Lives! I'm going to tell everybody!!*

Sorry in advance

Hey Mike Dason: Where is our wedding video? Is 478 days sufficient time to produce a good wedding video? Thanks for nothing..

PS – You suck

Mark and Tiff

Weird Compliments

I got a text from my sister the other day. It said: “I had to get blood work done and I was just told I have the best veins ever… is that a compliment? LOL”

I have a friend who gets her cho cha waxed every so often. One time, the Chinese woman kept talking about her beautiful vagine.

This is me acknowledging that these are NOT, in fact, COMPLIMENTS. I’m taking a stand. (to the utter embarrassment of my mother)

The phlebotomist talking to my sister about her blood filled veins was a down-right weirdo. And the perky Asian whacking the hairs right off my friend’s nether regions was a whacko herself. (get it? …. Haha* I thought whacko may have crossed a line, but I’m willing to take the risk if it receives a chuckle from one person out there.)

If you are going to comment on my body, please note: veins and cho chas are hereby off limits.

Florida

Mark and I had a weekend off together this weekend!!!! This is a big deal for us. Since Mark is in sales, his Saturdays and Sundays consist of selling apartments to random Hoosiers. Not this weekend!!!!

This was the first weekend we were off together with no plans since we moved to Indy.

So we planned a trip…for the weekend…. To Florida.

And why not?

We left Friday after work and got into town at 10:30 on Sunday night. It was perfect. Our family in Orlando hosted us! We went to Cocoa Beach all of Saturday and watched football by the pool on Sunday. ::Perfect::

Life.is.g00d.