More office Politics: Carry-Ins

I have already blogged about the birthday cake breakfast surprises that happen each week in my office. I haven’t touched on the subject of carry-ins.

This morning I got the stink eye from the co-workers again. We were having a carry-in breakfast for one of the ladies (I didn’t know her) who was leaving because of a promotion or something. Like I said… I didn’t know her.

Last week, we had a sign in sheet that went around so everyone could sign up to bring something in for the big breakfast. The sign in sheets in this office are intense. In any other office I have been to, they sign in sheet is placed in a common area, for everyone to sign at their leisure. Not here. The sheet is in a manilla folder. On the front of the folder is a list of everyone in the department. When the folder gets dropped off at your desk by someone you do not know, you have to initial the front of the folder by your name and DATE the darn thing. This is ludicrous in itself.

As if that weren’t enough, then you have to sign the sign in sheet. At the top there is a reason for the sign in sheet. Then you have to fill it out appropriately. In this case, the reason was because (let’s call her) Patty was leaving. What was I going to bring? Hmmm… Nothing. So instead of lying about my contribution, I decided not to sign the sign in sheet. I had already initialed the front, so I wouldn’t get the folder back. I then passed it on to one of my co-workers. (One whose name was on the list with no initials next to it, of course…)

This morning (apparently) was the breakfast carry in. It (apparently) started at 8:15. I walked in (past everyone crowded around the table congratulating Patty) at 8:30. Yep, I looked like the ‘you know what.’ To top it off, I had nothing in my hands to contribute to the breakfast carry-in. Now all of my co-workers are aware of my (lack of) contribution. Nice.

I haven’t always hated contributing to carry ins. When I worked at the hospital, I would ALWAYS volunteer to ‘cook the corn’ for the carry ins. Mark had to teach me how to cook frozen corn, but I got it. AND I got it down to an art. I was really good at it. Then I found out I was the ‘lazy’ one in the department who ONLY contributed FROZEN corn. Awesome. (To give me credit, I WAS SIXTEEN)

Then there was my last rotation. We worked lots of late nights and weekends during year-end reporting. There was a sign up sheet for the first two weeks of reporting. I knew that I would want some things to snack on when I was pulling sixteen hour days…. So I signed up to bring something in. I wanted to contribute, to ensure that I was able to snack on everyone else’s donations.

Then the time came for me to contribute. I brought in Kroger Cookies. Sugar and Chocolate Chip, to be precise.

This is where I must let you know why I BUY food for carry ins. I’m not okay with MY OWN cooking procedures. I probably lick my fingers and wipe my hair out of my eyes, while in the process of making stir fry. What makes you think I’m going to trust you and your ‘CASSEROLE?’ ew. No thanks. I don’t even know what casserole is, besides a whole bunch of random foods thrown together and baked for a set amount of time. I have no idea if you cook next to Fluffy, your nasty feline. No thanks. I’ll stick to the baby carrots in the package over there.

So I brought in the store-bought cookies. There were two other people who contributed that day. One brought in other kinds of cookies. The other brought in bags of chips. We were proud of our contributions… until the stink eye came along… SURE ENOUGH whenever I walked to the bathroom, I would pass clusters of co-workers whispering and pointing to me. All looked constipated. Or just plain cranky.

The three donators that day realized something was amuck. We found out (later) that the sign up sheet was for people to plan a meal! Yikes! What the heck!!?!??! You really expected the three of us to feed all 50-75 people for the SIXTEEN HOURS we were at work together!?!? I hope they enjoyed their cookies.

I did feel awkward walking into work empty-handed this morning. But even if I would have contributed, it wouldn’t have been anything to par with that HOMEMADE BISCUITS AND GRAVY…. Eeeeewwwwwww…. What is in "gravy"????