Iguanas... You can't make this schniz up...

This is actually a story of a guy I went to college with. I am choosing to document it because it would be a real shame to forget it. Read on for the story I chuckle about every time I see an iguana.....

This guy (we'll call him Cheech) and his friends (we'll collectively call them Chong) were all hanging out in Cheech's basement one day. They were partaking in a little innocent marijuana smoking and looking at Cheech's 6 foot iguanas.

Cheech had two of them. They were HUGE and had a mansion of a cage to live in. Cheech had devoted a large portion of the basement for his iguanas to call home. They were living the good life. But this day, they were getting a contact high.

One iguana was climbing on the 'ceiling' of its cage and the other was just chillin on the ground. Probably eating carrots or crickets or whatever the heck iguanas do. I am assuming he was eating purely because I heard that is what stoned people (or animals) do.

So there they were, Cheech and Chong, hanging out in the basement watching the iguanas. All of a sudden, something happened that changed my outlook on the little creatures forever. The iguana hanging on to the top of the cage fell.

Now please keep in mind these iguanas were the size of a normal human being. Straight up six feet flippin long. They had to be the creepiest looking things ever. And the potheads saw one take a tumble.

The unfortunate part of the story was the iguana's placement for his fall: RIGHT ON TOP OF THE OTHER IGUANA! Now what the heck are the odds that would happen?!?! The cage was the size of a semi! WHAT THE HECK?!?!!?

What makes me chuckle is thinking about the stoners' reaction. I imagine it went something like this:

"I'm hungry."
"Me too."
"Have you ever considered covering a pickle with a slice of cheese, dipping it in ketchup, and calling it a meal?"
"No, dude, that sounds awesome though! Let's go try....."
BOOM!
[Staring at the cage]
"........[Puff]...."
[Still staring at the cage]
[Together]: "BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

I imagine them making this situation a straight up knee-slapper. I don't know what the exact reaction was, but I certainly hope it went something like that....

Sadly, neither of the iguanas survived. I am unsure how long it took before the tokers stood up and did something to help. I like to think they performed CPR.

So each time I see one of these little creatures, I think of the murder/suicide that took place in Cheech's basement. Now if you don't think that is funny please let me know so I can ensure we are no longer friends. And that is the story of the funniest murder/suicide I've ever wished I'd witnessed....