Familiarity

So I am sitting on an airplane traveling from Amsterdam to Connecticut. Looking out the window at that big ocean that has separated me from all that is familiar for the last semester of my senior year of college. Listening to Michael Buble, “Home” brings tears to y eyes. I miss everyone so much.
What a rollercoaster. In this 24 hours, I will not only get the chance (finally) to return to the ones I love, but also say goodbye to those who I have grown to love. Reading my signature atlas, I cry over those friends. I read, “You always have a place to stay in ______.” Fill in the blank with whatever destination you wish… They are everywhere. In reality, how many will I ever see again? Only time will tell.
In the Amsterdam airport earlier, I got questioned about the contents of my luggage. (This is routine for a trip back to the States.) The poor woman had no idea what she was getting herself into. “Traveling alone?” She asked. “I am now,” I replied. I had just endured a tearful goodbye session with Rachel. Then I broke down. Sobbing. Gasping. Hysterics. I tried to answer her questions as best I could without dropping, falling to the floor and curling up in the fetal position. The poor woman was trying to find out if I had pot in my luggage and all I could think about was how a chapter in my life had just ENDED.
I wanted to outright let her know I didn’t have any space cakes in my bag just so I could get on the plane and get out of the situation. Didn’t she know that I had traveled to Amsterdam and wanted nothing to do with those then??!! Why would I have them now?!?! I was drawing (for the first time in my life) unwanted attention. She finally let me go.
I have experienced so many firsts since my study abroad decision. Many more will come. Another ‘first’ came just now, when the flight attendant gave me lunch. Upon receiving my three-cheese tortellini, I replied, “Dekuju.” That’s Czech for ‘Thank you.’
Maybe all that is familiar now is different than four months ago. Looking out the window at that water, my sunglasses are now on. Shielding not sun, but tears. As Michael Buble sings, “I’ve had my run but baby I’m done. Got to go home… They’ll be all right, I’ll be home tonight. I’m coming back home.”