Happy Valentines Day 3

So I showed up to work (on time) Friday. And guess what I had on mydesk? A chocolate bear. I've been in my department for about elevenminutes. It was to me from someone I didn't know. Awesome. I'm notsure why people feel the obligation to give me a valentine when theydon't know me. It is nice that I was included in the littlegift-giving, but then I FELT THE OBLIGATION to try to spend the wholeday figuring out who she was so I could give her an awkward thank you.

I ate the chocolate bear at 10:30 in the morning. I'm a sucker forcheap chocolate I guess. I didn't even really like it. I bit into it,though, and realized it wasn't hollow. This chick splurged on me. Idevoured the whole thing. I even got scolded from one of my fellowco-workers for eating the chocolate bear before lunch. Nice. Thanks,Mom. Love you, Mom.

Now that I was busted out and semi-satisfied by my semi-sweet friend, Igot back to work. One of the guys who sits next to me was on the phonewith his wife. He told her he bought her a chocolate bear forValentines Day. I was interested. I stopped what I was doing andimmediately went into detective mode. I needed to know more.Especially if I was planning to blog the experience later. As theconversation went on, he ended up confessing that the bear was on hisdesk when he came in. He didn't know who it was from so he was afraidto eat it. Another thing that scared him was that the package said (andI quote) "Milk Chocolate FLAVORED Bear."

HOLD THE PHONE. AT THIS POINT, ALARMS ARE GOING ON IN MY DETECTIVEHEAD. WHAT THE HECK HAD I DONE? WHAT HAD I CONSUMED? WHAT THE HECKWAS IN MY TUMMY? WAS I GOING TO DIE? WAS THIS REALLY HOW IT ENDED?FREAKIN CHOCOLATE FLAVORED TEDDY BEAR? SON OF A.......

You know, this is like RULE NUMERO UNO when you are four years old.Don't take candy from a stranger. I'm guessing rule number two is readthe label before consuming. I'm twenty three years old and chose tofollow NEITHER. I was pretty sure I was going to die. I had beenpoisoned by a co-worker with a chocolate FLAVORED Palmer's Cuddly Bear.Freakin Nice. Freakin Sweet. Freakin Dangit!

Turns out I didn't die. (I haven't yet, at least.) Unfortunately I wasalso nervous to thank my potential murderer. Not only because I didn'tknow who she was, but also because she might realize it didn't kill meand stab me right in the neck. I decided to shoot for the safer method.In the spirit of the non-social accountant, I sent an email. I alsosaid I would see her when I returned Wednesday.... Only time will tellif Cuddly Bear doesn't kill me before that..... You have beenwarned..... Anyways, Happy Freakin Valentine's Day.