NO HABLA

There is this guy who sits next to me at work. He is super shy and is from Mexico. He barely speaks English and WHEN he does speak, it is very soft and slurred. I can never understand him, so I just smile, nod, or laugh appropriately. I stopped laughing when he asked me what was so funny one time… Apparently he was asking about an out of balance account… I thought he was telling a joke…..who knew….

So each month, I have to send a ‘This is what I did this month" report to my bosses. I also have to put my goals and how I am planning to reach them. Stuff like that. Anyways, on my report this month I mentioned that I wanted to learn Spanish. I think it would really help me to help others make the transition into America. I have been the awkward outsider before and HATED IT so I would like to help in any way that I can. I’ve been listening to this CD on the way home from work. Learn Spanish in 15 minutes a day! Riiiiiiight. Pretty much all I have learned is Hola. (It’s tough to learn Spanish in rush hour…) You know, that whole FOCUS ON THE ROAD thing…

Do you know where this is going?

My boss (who is from Texas and speaks Spanish) read the report and thought it was so great that I wanted to learn. She offered to bring me in a textbook the very next day to help ‘further my education.’

THEN (and here is the doozy of the story) she walks right on over to Francisco and in SPANGLISH (Spanish/English) tells him never to talk to me in English again. If I want to really learn Spanish, I have to just get THROWN IN.

WOW… I thought it was some sort of crazy joke and didn’t want to tell my boss that, if she was serious, she really needed to tell him to stick to the basics… you know… Hola! Como Estas…. Margarita…

About two hours after the conversation, Francisco gets up from his desk, comes over to me, and starts a full blown conversation. My response? A ten second "deer in the headlights" stare. I had no reaction! I said, "Do what?"

Francisco looked confused. I told him I’m a beginner and have no idea what he just said. Maybe we could stick to conversations where I translate his ENGLISH before we go bi-lingual.

So today before Fransico left, he stopped by my desk and said: "Hasta Menyen!"
"Whatever!" I responded in my best Spanish accent!