Third time's a charm?

Then there was my 18th birthday. A week before, my boyfriend (Mark) and I went to a pet store to look around. There, I found what were called "Dwarf Bunnies." They were 1,000 times cuter than their name. They were fat little bunnies whose droopy ears drug the ground.

I couldn't stop talkinga bout how much I wanted this black dwarf bunny. Everyone refused to make the purchase for my birthday. They all knew I would end up hating it. If you know me, you knkow I had to make the purchase to prove them wrong.

I bought the dwarf bunny and named him "Daffy." I know what you are thinking: "You bought your OWN birthday present?!" Yes, I did. I am a firm believer in, "I want it, I get it!" You may also be wondering why I named my bunny Daffy. I went through a period where I thought it was hilarious to innappropriately name things. If you see my sister, ask her the "Kitty Kitty meow meow, Bear Bear grr, grr" story. I digress.

Six months after owning Daffy, I got bored. Wait. Bored isn't the word. I was downright annoyed that the dwarf bunny was still alive and kickin.' So I did what every normal annoyed human being would do in my situation: I stopped feeding Daffy.... all together.

I'm aware that makes me sound like a total a-hole for saying it. But it's already done.

My loving Dad started feeding poor, hungry Daffy. He loved Daffy. I haven't even discussed the mansion that bunny lived in. My Dad made this bunny a bunny mansion! It had two rooms: a bedroom and a kitchen/dining room. It had a caged area below the mansion to catch the adorable little dward bunny poop balls. I've always loved those little pooplets. I've (not so secretly) always desired to poop like a bunny. It's so cute!

Blip. Blop. Bloop. Bunny Poop! :-)

Adorable pooplets weren't the only quirky attribute my dwarf bunny had. Daffy was a dreamer. Just like her mother, she wanted to see the world. Daffy would (somehow) get out of the cage and run away. I actually think this was a big fat joke that Daffy played on me. My Mom would tell me after school one day that Daffy had run away. I would get all excited that she was gone and was out in the real world. Then Pam would drop the ball on me: Daffy had returned! What the hell kind of animal runs away from its cage into the five acres of Alexander land, into the great wide open, only to return 8 hours later?!?!?!

But, sure enough, that little stinker returned. Daffy was chillin' in the driveway when my Mom got home from work. Apparently she was hungry and forgot she was a bunny that could eat GRASS!

After months of my father feeding Daffy, my sister took her to school for a year. This is when DAffy got a name change. Kayla thought it was innappropriate to name a dwarf bunny, "Daffy".....so she named her "bunny."

Bunny loved the science class she lived in for a year. But then it was time for her to return to her bunny mansion at the Alexander household.

At this point, I was out of the house. Livin the dream (*bunnyless*) in college. Napoleon Dynamite was a big movie at the time. My brothers were the ones tasked with feeding "bunny." They hated her name, so they changed it to Tina. Below are some quotes from Napoleon Dynamite that I'm 110% sure are the reasons my siblings changed Daffy/Bunny's name:

"Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... "

"Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD! "

"Tina, come get some ham. "

Uncle Rico: "Napoleon, it's looks like you don't have a job. So why don't you get out there and feed Tina."
Napoleon Dynamite: "Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap! "

Nathan and Evan weren't being mean to Tina, they were just (lovingly) quoting a movie.

In the end, Daffy/Bunny/Tina ran away. ....never to return again! She lived a cushy life and I'm about 72% sure she is living in Jamaica right now and wasn't eaten by a coyote. I loved Daffy....for six months...but then the boredom set it....

I'm going to make a great MOM.

Oh, and let's not forget....

STRIKE THREE....