TARDINESS

I’m not ‘much’ for being on time. I am just not that into it. There are much more important things in my life than ensuring that I meet your deadline. With that said, in class last week, our professor would give us ‘checks’ for each time we were ‘on time’ to his class. You got one check if you were ready when he was. You got two extra checks if your whole table was ready when he was. Let’s just say I didn’t have many ‘checks’ compared to others.

The checks were equivalent to a $2 bill to me… I didn’t care.

Until one time I arrived late from a break. It was only ten minutes and that wasn’t even enough time for me to refill my water bottle. I got the stink eye from everyone at my table. Whoa. What the heck? They were upset that I wasn’t there for them to get their two extra checks.

To which I wanted to reply: (I must put the reply I wanted to say because it is way funnier than the lame apology I gave them.)

You are aware that you are all between the ages of 40 and 50 years old, right? You are grown adults who can make your own decisions. You are also aware the fabulous prizes that go to the person with the most checks probably consist of a yo yo and a stress ball in the shape of a name? You are ALSO aware that, if you care so much about winning the check competition, you can CHEAT and give yourself as many checks as your heart desires? You are ALSO aware that the check game is just a goofy way for the professor to ensure that anyone willing to fall for the scheme is in attendance for the duration of the FOUR DAY class. You are also aware that I am bored out of my mind and need a little more than a ten minute break for the massive amount of information you are vomiting onto me to process?

Whew. I’m done. I also ended up getting a prize for all my checks. I ended up with 121. The overall winner had 160. We both passed the class. And, oh yeah….EVERYONE got prizes.
-in case you are wondering, I got a small bottle of honey as my prize. The top winner got a beanie baby. Better than a stress ball brain? You decide.