Evan's Prank

Evan has always been too cool for school. Even when he was three and had a mullet, Evan was WAY COOLER than the rest of us. I always love talking with Evan because he ALWAYS has something funny to say. He is sometimes gullible, but I love him for it. Here is an example of a prank I've played on that little rascal:

A few summers ago, Evan and I were painting the back deck. Dad always had us kids do some crazy ridiculous chore before he had a party. Like remodel the bathroom, or repaint anything we owned that was wood. This was always HOURS before the party STARTED. HOURS.....

Anyways, I've never been accused of having a long attention span. I get really bored doing the same thing for, oh, more than ten minutes. ((Just ask Mom, Kayla, and Grandma about baking with me))

Evan and I were having a normal conversation (probably with the subject being llamas) when I stopped painting and turned to him.

"Evan, I have something to tell you."
"What's up?"
"Well, you are getting older, and I think that you should know."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, you know how I took those pictures where you look so much like Mark? You two are just standing there in the kitchen and you could be twins! The similarities are uncanny!"
"Yeah, that is funny! I can't believe how much I look like your boyfriend!"
"*Sigh* That's what this conversation is about. Keep painting while I stop and talk to you." [I'm such a punk] "When I was ten years old, I had a baby. I was too young to take care of him, so Mom and Dad adopted him and raised him as their own. Evan, that baby is you. [and with a straight face] I'm. Your. Mom."

This is the point where Evan stopped painting. I didn't so much as start to grin. It was like I had been planning to tell him for all eight years of his life. He was speechless.

"Yeah, I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. Mark is your father. We didn't know how to tell you, so I waited until the perfect time--- I knew it would be right when you and I were picked to paint the fence while Kayla and Nathan planted a garden."
"But....But..... How......"
"I know, I know.....it's a lot of information to take in right now. Just keep painting while I explain further. I was just a baby. Can you imagine a TEN YEAR old raising a son? I wanted what was best for you and Mom and Dad....er....Grandma and Grandpa.... sat Mark and I down to let us know they were going to adopt you. It was such an emotional day. But I have been right here the whole time! It is amazing! I love you so much and am so proud of you, son! ...oh..... You missed a spot on the stairs.....[pointing]"

This went on for a little while. Evan thought for a while that I was his Momma. And I was Mark's baby momma. And he was Mark's Baby Momma's Baby. We still joke about it. It's all fun and games until Mom tells Evan to ask his mom to pay for textbooks, movies, or.....college.